Yesterday happened, and 132 children died.
Do you understand that 132 children, and at least 13 adults, are dead? For what - going to a school funded by the military?
And I'm heartbroken. Pissed, that too (sorry for the language, but "ticked" doesn't work here).
I'm about to be harsh here. But I am furious and heartbroken, and You said "I am near to the broken hearted," so I will take you up on that offer. I will throw all my words and anguish out because they can never be enough.
I want to rage and scream and claw at the sky and demand,
Do you see this, God? Or have You blinded Yourself already?
Did you hear their prayers, or did the name 'Allah' render You unable to care just like, oh, I don't know, ninety percent of Christians I know.
I hope and believe You're strong enough to take my doubts and fury, God, so why don't I just lay it on right now:
Everyone lamented Sandy Hook, but few give a damn when it's Pakistani Muslim children.
The media conversation has already turned to 9/11 comparisons, and a review of Pakistani military offensives against the Taliban. No time to grieve.
They were kids. Whether American or Pakistani or any nationality - which, really, what is a nationality but a name and a border - they were innocent and had their precious, beloved lives stolen from them.
Are You grieving with their parents and friends? Are You holding the hands of the ones who are left, scared and injured and in pain I cannot imagine?
Why the bloody freaking hell didn't You stop them?
And why don't more "progressive" American Christians, so fond of denouncing nationalism and Islamophobia, speak out? Or at least mention grieving with these people? Don't they see 145 faces?
Or do they just see Christmas lights and the virgin birth debate that hardly matters when 145 people are slaughtered in a school?
Look, I get that prayers are quiet and you don't have to shout your grief from the rooftops to be sincere (maybe you often shouldn't). But maybe, just maybe, a show of solidarity and empathy should happen.
See their faces. Lament, light a candle, say a prayer, cry out - do something, please. In solidarity, in grief, in love and pain for our brothers and sisters of Peshawar who lost 145 lives too many.
*Much of this is taken from a previous conversation with the lovely Kate Evelyn Danahy.