Saturday, March 15, 2014

...And Letting Go

Part Two

    Hey guys. I have a confession. This title is a lie.
    There is no part two.
    I had a serious post planned, but then it morphed into another post (coming soon, and darn writing for adopting a life of its own) and I was like, nope, this ain't gonna work. Oops. So what do I do now?
    Well, I've decided to share the top 10 things I've learned about jaywalking over the last four years.
    A little background: attending university in Boston WILL, without question, transform you into a talented jaywalker. Follow these rules and you will be an expert.*
    So, y'know, you can let go of those inconvenient moments of waiting for the blasted light to change.

1). Don't die.
2). Do look both ways before you cross the street. It's Boston, and we're not exactly known for following traffic laws.(Yes, our moms were right).
3). When you start, go whenever you are comfortable. Slowly decrease the time between you and the oncoming cars until you're comfortable with the fact that if there's a greater than 50% chance of survival, you're going for it.
4). Speedwalking is the key. 
5). If there's no walk signal but the light is red, go anyways.
6). Wearing earphones and listening to music can make the adventure even more exciting, and is sure to earn you a few close calls and several very entertaining reactions from those unfortunate drivers whose right of way you've interrupted.
7). Don't do this when your family visits.
8). Don't practice anywhere outside of the city. Either drivers will be really understanding and make you feel like crud for interrupting them, or you may have an unpleasant encounter with a police officer.
9). If you're on a bicycle, discount everything I said and obey the darn traffic laws.
10). Don't die.

*This is not an endorsement for breaking the law. It is merely an account of the many jaywalking adventures I've heard of or experienced in college, and should be taken solely as humor.


No comments:

Post a Comment